Happiness

 Lets be honest. Happiness is something we read about , maybe a movie or a play but nothing that most people genuinely reach in there lives at an early age. But I can 100% say that I am learning what happiness really is theses day in my late 20s I am beginning to realize what life is really and truly all about. First off this shit is hard its nothing easy about life living breathing eating thinking knowing not knowing wanting not wanting understanding walking talking sleeping all of these things are hard. Even when we think they are easy at some point in your life you will find that these things because a struggle. But its ok all of it is ok and Im not sure that people realize its ok am I mad at a person gets upset or emotional when someone dies. No I am frustrated with the person that allows things to take away the one thing we were born with and thats happiness. I mean really think about it when we are brought into this world the one thing that our parents always talk about it how happy we made them once we made it out of the belly. And even those whose didn't have biological parents we made someone happy just by being born. Just by living breathing smiling. Even to this day Im sure that still holds to be true. We may not be happy with ourselves but who needs that when we have friends and family to at least make us feel happy. I personally am still trying to figure out what it really means to be happy. I think that right now I am content I have happy moments. And events that make me happy or movies but I think eventually I will be truly happy. Im still learing what makes me happier then other things.

Diffrent

 Every day its something. But isnt that life Im living a life that I never knew was possible. Its different. And I like it. But like any normal human Im just waiting for shit to pop off. Its weird because Im in that inbettween stage were Im happy but Im still trying to figure out what that means. I dont really have anyone to talk to without hesitation. But honestly this may have been one of the best years of my life besides 23 23 was good. I am learing me while loving my Fiance yes Fiance its amazing to be loved so hard by one person. She is everything I have ever wanted in a person. Back to me Im stil trying to figure out wat I wanna do with rest of my life which is a every day challange in its own i battle on when I wanna  have kids I mean I dont wanna be hella old trying to have kids and lets be honest a sisters clock is ticking or whatever and its time for me to pop one out. I m ready. I love the fact that i dont have to worry about what my mate is doing or who she is doing it with. She make me feel sooo. And its kinda fucked  up through because I almost wanna do things just to cause a problem because it is tooo perfect real chill like. I am still getting use to the this way of life seeing as though the last two ass holes I had were just that ass holes...